I was in a certified lunatic mood. I can't understand why all along, I felt everything was in the right place but they're not. I wanted to feel happy and just be happy.
No, I am happy. With him. Yes, with him. But, am I really? I AM.
Why am I still convincing myself when I already knew?
I just can't understand the feeling of contentment and confusion mixed at the same time.
A friend once told me, "You're happy. You just won't let yourself feel it."
I already had this doubt since last year. I told myself."Why not try?" Fine.
That was a month ago. More than a month actually.
What now? I'm scared of having to end up like THEM.
I'm scared of what people would say.
I'm scared of the things that could happen which I might not be able to accept.
Well, so what?..I know, I know, you've got to bear with my inconsistent mindset.
Yes, I had doubts, confusions and fears.. But now?
Fear is already dead. Doubt is still there, dying.
Waiting for the right timing to murder confusion.
Here I am. I've tried, still trying and I think, I'd be able to live up with it.
Unbelievable,I'm somewhere I've never thought I'd be.
I may have a lot of fears crossing over my mind but it's fine.
Because, sometimes, the thing that you're scared of, is usually the most worthwhile.
What I really feel right now is that, I am happy when I get to be with him.
And I think that's worth it. Nothing more.
the thing that you're scared of, is usually the most worthwhile. --> sort of ka.relate ko dah!! :D
ReplyDelete^__^ hhaaiiizz... well.. bitaw scam..sometimes.. we have to eradicate doubts so that makita natu ang trust and happiness. :D
(epistaxis!) bitaw...yan lang naisip ko ha.. :)
kahilak pud ta ug popcorn ana kla uy!hehehe..
ReplyDeletePeace! Niway, nag enjoy ko taman sa get-together ng lunchmates..muaaah!